COOKIE-MONSTER

Isn’t it ironic – how you think you know someone and it turns out you don’t? Even when you’ve known the person for your whole life, lived together, shared everything you have with them and then one day BOOM – they throw stones at you, tell you a lie after a lie and finally stab you in the back without blinking an eye!

Making it even more ironic is the fact that it’s happened for the third time this year! Proves the well known fact that you can’t trust anyone so choose carefully who you let into your homes, heads and hearts cause there could be a wolf hiding behind that smile and all those gestures that make them seem trustworthy. And when they seem trustworthy you feel as you can trust them – meaning you can’t trust yourself? :O It’s just oh so confusing.

But these days it’s not all bad. The betrayals made me grew stronger and more heartless than I ever imagined myself to be. And yes, I’ve been pointed out by some very special persons, that this is not me anymore – I know it, but this is evolution – survival of the fittest and if the world doesn’t adapt with you then you have to adapt with the world. That’s how it goes!

And I’ve found and object to crave for, that absolutely fascinates and strangely excites me. It is strange to admit this, but I’ve not found a word to describe it as it is, but it’s right!

X O X O,
Cookie Monster ;)

Have you ever felt that you have nothing – then you gain EVERYTHING? Or that you have it all, but suddenly it’s violently, robustly taken from you? But the truth is that you had it all for your whole life – you even had it when you thought you didn’t!

I may not have know you since kindergarten, I may not have known you from high school or maybe I haven’t even known you for 5 years, perhaps I’ve known you just for a year or less..

We may have our disagreements and fights, we may had a splendid time that was cut short by someone else, we may have grown apart, we may not keep in touch anymore and we may not even remember why that is so..

But if I’ve ever called you my friend – then you must know that you always have a place in my heart, cause YOU – my precious friends, make this world a better, happier and nicer place for me.

X O X O,
Cookie Monster ;)

Wikipedia's definition for happiness is that it is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.

During the last month I have realized that now I truly am happy! I’m happy cause I don’t have to think about going to work to face a boss who’ll let all his anger and disappointment out on you; not to think about a crush who kept saying that you’re the one who makes them happy, but in the end they left without a proper goodbye, leaving you obsessed; to just STOP! and think about who you really are and what you expect out of this thing called life.

I’m not saying that I regret the last year but I am saying that I was utterly miserable back then. Sure I had awesome colleges and kickass friends, we spent splendid times together. But not even they could have given me what I

I have done my share of weeping and I shall do it no more for I have made a choice of moving on and breaking the chains of history.

I’m happy! I’m happy for you still having your jobs, for some of you even having children, for you still being you. I’m happy for you! I’m happy even though you hurt me so much!

X O X O,
Cookie Monster ;)

Anyone knows the meaning of a phrase – skeleton in the closet?

Well I’ll tell you a secret – I have so many skeletons that my clothes wont fit in the closet anymore! Yeah – didn’t see that one coming, now did you?

A: Remember when I told you I liked you? – I lied!! I don’t like you, but I don’t hate you also. It’s just that you’re…well that’s the thing – you’re insignificant. The world wouldn’t miss much if you didn’t even exist. Quite contrary it’d be a bit smarter, funnier, happier and maybe even a better place without you. Less bullshit you know!

A: Remember when you called me about a month ago and asked me to come meet you and I said no, that I’m going to bed and shit like that? I LIED! It just would have hurt my eyes too much to see you. And yes I might be blonde NOW, but I’m not so stupid to hurt myself on purpose!

A: All in all you should just make up your mind – you can’t keep calling me when you’re wasted and not around your literally BIG “girl”! Just make up your fucking mind okay!!!!!

PS! You really need a haircut!

B: Remember the first message that you sent me and I didn’t reply? I didn’t reply because I was laughing so hard that I almost peed my pants. I thought you’re a grownup but you proved me wrong – you’re a fucking teenager who can’t control his hormones and who’s testicles are on the verge of bursting of all the testosterone partying in them!

B: Remember when you asked me if I wanted to go back to your place and I said no because I didn’t know you for a very long time? Guess what – I lied! I didn’t want to go back to your place cause I can’t even imagine having ANYTHING with a dude who dated ms.BUG-EYE!!!

B: You need to cut the crap and be a man – stop whining like a bitch who hasn’t gotten any in a long time! Grow some balls!

And C! You’re the worst of them all! We have a fling and I bail. And when I come back you have a thing for me – what the hell?? We’ve known each other for 8 years and NOW you have a thing for me?? Now when you’re actually gone all the time you want ME to be here for you? Are you serious or just shitting me? What do you want from me uh?? WHAT?? You can’t just come and play some tunes on your guitar and expect me to just WAIT until you come and say: “Honey, I’m home! What’s for dinner?”

And to all of you who think that I’m just a crybaby and that there’s nothing wrong with my life then FUCK YOU!

X O X O,
Cookie Monster ;)

So I’m sitting here, typing – at 6.05AM Just can’t get any sleep and I’ve found myself some stuff to do: cleaning the closet, sorting make up, reading, even watched a movie but still no sleep. It’s probably because I’ve felt trapped, suffocated and out of my mind for the whole day. I seriously just need to get away again.

Call me weak if you want but I just can’t handle it – it’s like a circus and I am not planning to be the clown!

It’d be a hell of a lot easier if EVERYONE just made up their minds. You can’t have everything you want – it just doesn’t go that way. You can’t keep changing your mind – going from a drama queen to a vegetable.

Basically I just want get out of here as fast as I can – the destination doesn’t even matter. The further the better and sky isn’t the limit!

It’s weird that a lot of old acquaintances have began to show up and all at the same time. Like it’s safe to come out of the hiding or something like that, but it’s never safe – even breathing could kill nowadays! It’s even more bizarre that they contact me not the other way around. Maybe they’re in DESPERATE need of communication!? Who knows… Actually it’s kind of nice to see SOME of them (yeah I’m a softy – I know).

Also since I had to buy a new phone because the old one died on me I don’t have everyone numbers anymore, so hit me up ;) And if anyone knows where my pink nail polish is then please do let me know!

Oh! I’ve got a question: where should I go to ease my feeling of being trapped?? (leave your answers in the comments :))

X O X O,
Cookie Monster ;)